Where Is the Science in Scientology?

I couldn't have been more than 20 when my cousin and my younger brother and I went for a bar hop night on Connecticut Avenue. I think I drove, and after parking somewhere above Dupont Circle, we all headed down one of the side streets in that area that would take us down to the drinking establishments.

Along the way, we were approached by another young man our age who told us to come see a movie about some new way of doing things. Little did I know that we were being up to be indoctrinated into a religious cult.

We three followed the guy to a neighborhood townhouse, and inside we all watched a 16 mm film, and I cannot remember one iota of what it was about. Afterwards I wanted to stick around and find out more, but my brother and cousin begged off so I stayed with them but not before accepting an invitation to come back the next day.

I have to admit that I was an impressionable and somewhat troubled young individual, and I was seeking answers, not unlike many others of my generation, but I wasn't completely gullible. I went back the next day as planned and I was given a small pamphlet to read -- which I did diligently -- and I remember finding some inherent flaws in its logic.

I brought it up to the fellow who seemed to be in charge, but he claimed that there was no such fault in the written material. I attempted to argue my point to no avail. The guy just wouldn't listen. Finally, I was to take a test on the stuff. Fine, we'd get to the bottom of this.

In another room a man sat behind a table in front of him was a kind of rinky-dink device consisting of a couple recycled soup cans sans labels wired to a resistance meter of sorts. I was instructed to hold a can in each hand, and I was asked if I understood what I had just read and if it made sense to me. The machine would tell if my answer was truthful or not. I answered in the affirmative and was amused when I was told that I had passed.

I was disappointed, too. I had been hoping that there was more to this thing they called Scientology. But I was totally disillusioned by that day's events.

I tell that story not so much to discredit Scientology but to illustrate how I became involved with the establishment. And now to this very day they still seek to bring me into their fold. I just opened an e-mail tonight, and a certain Darren Kennedy wants to know if I received a particular Scientology DVD... and he has my name and address.

Now I've been getting Scientology junk mail for a long time, and I was curious if it was just coincidence or if they were targeting me specifically from them knowing me back in the day. I mean how would they know if I was the same John Ivey? I guess they wouldn't, but I must say they are certainly persistent. And my address and phone number are public record -- I'm not exactly in hiding -- but that was 35 years ago. You would think they would let it be.

I do remember getting a phone call a year or so after my initial dealings with the outfit. They wooed me with a job offer and wanted me to come downtown to talk about it. I was intrigued and perhaps flattered that they remembered me, but when they wanted me to work for minimum wage I was not impressed. Now years later I wonder what people like John Travolta and Tom Cruise gets out of Scientology. To me it's just an L. Ron Hubbard religion scam.